My Own Serendipity Story

THIS IS ANOTHER SERENDIPITOUS EVENT. There are two beautiful things I want to do in my entire life, and that’s to be a lifestyle worshipper and a wedding/kiddie event organizer/singer/host. 

Last March 1^st, Feast Bay Area Music Min Vocals were gathered to attend Bro George’s Worship Leading Meeting/Coaching. I wholeheartedly, undividedly listened on his words. I took down notes. I grinded the words he shared in my mind. I basked in his spirit and energy. And I must say, I felt anointed and empowered yet humbled.

Looking back, I remembered that I took a Strengths Finder exam in the office and I found out the Connectedness is my first strength.

According to the test, I can sense that every event is somehow the consequence of a series of actions, reactions, or lack of actions. I can accept that which cannot be fully explained using logic. I can say there are no accidents. I’m confident that things are linked together for a purpose that may or may not be revealed to me. It’s very likely that I hold tightly to my core values. Instinctively, I conclude that my life is more meaningful and I’m happier when I dedicate myself to something of importance to humankind. 

It can be something simple rather than something grand. I can sense my acts of kindness influence individuals to perform good deeds. I’m likely to inspire generosity in many people. By nature, I’m often the instrument in helping my teammates discover how they are linked to one another. I regularly remind them that their successes and failures are a direct result of their ability to work together.

My next strength is a Maximizer.

It defines me as I naturally figure out what makes most people unique or special. By nature, I exhibit a heightened awareness of my talents. One of my top priorities is building upon these natural abilities to create strengths. Instinctively, I realize I can determine what distinguishes each person from every other human being. 

I honor the special, the wondrous, and the rare qualities of people. I intentionally position them to attain ever higher levels of excellence. I can easily view things from someone else’s perspective even when I do not share their opinion. I deal with each individual on a personal level. I instinctively know what someone is feeling, based on the person’s words, deeds, silence, or body gestures.

The third one is being an Arranger.

It’s very likely that I’m acutely aware of how my teammates perceive my abilities. I can sense what they think of me as a person. These insights many times allow me to earn their confidence so I can contribute even more to the group’s success. Because of my strengths, I have been most productive in the past when someone in authority really took an interest in me. I likely to recall instances when they created opportunities for me to use my talents, knowledge, and skills. I often played the role of a teacher, coach, or mentor even when that was not my official title. Having a plan and knowing exactly what are required to do increases my chances of being successful. 

Understandably, I feel quite uncomfortable being assigned to a group that only manages crises, deals with the unexpected, or figures out tactics in the midst of chaos. Driven by my talents, I have a gift for recruiting people to work on tasks and special assignments. I probably know how to match talents to tasks, coordinate activities, and create schedules. Chances are good that I have a strong sense of commitment. It motivates me to make sure that things are carried through to completion even when difficulties arise.

Yes, I’m happy to know that those are my Top 3 strengths.

And I owe it to God who is absolutely faithful on His plan, surprisingly on the following day, March 2^nd, I received a text from my friend asking me to coordinate her wedding soon. 

I picked up my planner and started writing the date of her wedding. I know that it will be filled with details on the succeeding months.

I realized that God really likes me despite of my weaknesses, frailties, and limitations; knows me so well, even though I sometimes don’t understand His plan, and looks undoubtedly on my strengths even if there were discouragement in the past.

He’s my ultimate connector, maximizer, and arranger! He connects my every struggles and pain to reach my dreams. He maximizes every intricate and eccentric personality that I have to match with my skills and talents. He arranges my schedule, timing, and preparedness towards my life purpose. 

He asked me to fly! =)

His promise in Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose,” was revealed to me again!

And I praise His Name now and forever, for I can maximize the use of my 
Pen and Planner! :)

Surprise! Be functional! :)

--30--

#Trending2014 : God's Version of His Dreams for Thina

Time flies so fast. 2014 is about to bid goodbye, while 2015 will say hi.

If 2013 was my Bibo Year and 2012 was my Hyped Year.

I'm very happy to say (err. I mean to write) that 2014's a mixture of bold and light colors in my life, thus I'll name my year at the conclusion part.

So, sit back and relax. Join me in reading this fun ride! :D

January 2014

January 10, 2014- The seven year old relationship of MeAnt (Meanne and Anthony) two of the most beautiful persons I know took it in a higher level- their engagement. Sooo Kilig and happy for them. <3

They're really 'meant' to be.

 Glad that our past and current friends were present to witness this lovely event.

January 26, 2014- Pao and I auditioned for the Voice of the Philippines at Lucky Chinatown, Binondo. Braving the longest line ever, eating solely our Presto Peanut butter biscuits with our water, talking to aspirants co-auditionees about their singing contest experiences, praying, sometimes sleeping and alas' grasping the heart pounding moment of audition.

Thank you Lord, for this awesome experience! :)

still went to the Feast after such ngarag moment.

February 2014

February 02, 2014-I distinctly remember that I had a jampacked Sunday the week after The Voice auds:

* Carl invited me to be part of his shirt biz's shoot with Tony, Niko and Joyce.

Do we look awesome, don't we? :) Ask our Daddy in Heaven. :)

 I served with my loves in Chorus Ministry.

Celebrating the birthdays of Migs, Coco, and Mark :)

February 14, 2014- I sang at the stunning wedding at church at the Hill, Tagaytay. I can call the couple as super servants, who fell inlove with each other while serving at He Cares Foundation. The venue was parallel to the wonderful sight of Mt. Batulao.

The Legally Blonde ladies

February 19, 2014- My first of class at the Feast Bible Study. This made me love History more, stronger and deeper. :)

With Melo, my baby girl :)

March 2014

March 15, 2014- I sang Let It Go at Singles Min's Kilig uch Conference.

I literally let it all gooo my heart, soul, throat, diaphragm, and voice! Wooh! :)

March 28, 2014- Last Screening for the Blind Auds. Didn't make it. But it's okay. I know God has a better plan and He surely does. :)

April 2014

April 08, 2014- Tita C, my favorite EIC sent me an email admitting to me her mistake, asking for my forgiveness, and telling me that she's proud and happy for me. I must say, that repentance is one of the most beautiful things in the world. I felt like I opened a closed window and allowed the fresh air to embrace me again! :)

April 12, 2014- Teltrade, PLDT supplier company's recollection at Tagaytay.

April 20, 2014- Grand Easter Feast at MOA Arena. :) Celebrating the Feast of the Risen Lord, with 18,000 throng of people.

Chorus, the singing bees and sunflowers

April 27, 2014- A week before this event, Bugs surprised me with an invitation to be part of the Praise Team for Popes John Paul II and John VI's canonization at Smart Araneta Coliseum.

Someone remarked me that this was better than The Voice, indeed! Praise God!

May 2014

May 1-2, 2014- Chorus Team Building at Philip Sanctuary, Antipolo.

This acting workshop stirs us to unleash our energy to its 2000th power!

May 17, 2014- My team and I coordinated Uyan-Tan Nuptial at Bayanihan Events Center. I can do such coordination for long hours, because it made me alive!

I had a convesation with Meanne regarding this.

Me: Sis, I love weddings.

Meanne: No, Thina. Weddings love you! hihihi

June 2014

June 14, 2014- My family and I went to Tagaytay. :)

Thank you Lord, for their presence :)

June 18, 2014- Pre-auds for Quartet. What happened next? Idk. But, I'm thankful for the indefinite hold, maybe it's not yet the right time.

June 21, 2014- For fighting a good fight last Pistara in Rizal Stadium.

Let it Blue: Ansaya-saya sa legs! ^_^

June 28, 2014- Tony invited his intimate friends and some of his R4 brothers to attend the SAFE seminar. It actually opened more my radical soul and stirred a certain maturity in me.

Fight for Life! 

July 2014

July 06, 2014- I was invited to be one of the facilitators for the Feast Bible Study Batch 5... Answered prayer. :)

Tama si Ate Che, gagawin ko lahat para kay Lord...=)

July 12, 2014- I applied in Accenture, then watched Carl and UPeepz's HHI fund raising concert at SM North Skydome. :)

July 14, 2014- I wrote a narrative prompt about Cris, my favorite photographer friend. :)

July 18, 2014- Wedding of Mayi and Didoy, Single's darling couple. I sang again for their AfterParty (what's new?hahaha)

With Bibo Sibs :)

July 31, 2014- Bayanihan Events Center, once more?!? This time, I sang Girl on Fire for the first ever Single's GIG (Gathering In God).

Orange is complemented with aqua! Perfect! =)

August 2014

August 12, 2014- Pao and I were asked to join as Music Ministers at BCBP (Brotherhood of Christian Businessmen and Professionals).

We love Tito Danny and Tita Beck! =)

August 29, 2014- Mass Choir auds. Chorus has never been the same again. I know God will win that battle.

September Saturdays made us busy for ministering the participants in Metropolitan Club, Rockwell.

October 2014

October 12, 2014- For the first time in four-ever, I'll be dancing Crazy in love. haha!

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. – Marcel Proust

October 19, 2014- Batch 4's GIG! Praise God for the awesome Praise Team! :)

Who Wants to be a Millionaire: Be R.I.C.H to Reach

October 27, 2014- My 2nd year to judge with Pao and Coco, Write 'N Play Preschool Costume Party.

We didn't expect that 3 Queen Elsa's won their best costume

October 31, 2014- I received love letters from Chorus Ministry.

Ganu ako mahal ni Loooord???? 

Supeeeer! Megaaaa! Ubeeeer! (Just imagine me shouting these words!:D)

November 2014

November 02, 2014- I felt an incredible love from the people of Feast. God had a way of making my birthday special through the people. <3

November 03, 2014- My Amazing Birthday! <3

Meanne: Describe your birthday sis!

Me: My birthday is happy, contented, loved, matured and certain. :)

Meanne: Ulala. Love the adjectives. It sounds so 27 ;)

November 04, 2014- I celebrated my birthday in the office and with BCBP family. <3

November 23, 2014- Kerygma Conference Grand Feast. 

Sinung mag-aakalang sasayaw ako sa MOA Arena with these versatile and multi-talented people??? Galing ng Panginoon!

November 24, 2014- Bonding with Dreamteam @ Yakimix and Starbucks. Updating our current life status and reminiscin' some from our past-- as always it's laughtrip! :D

I have more friends than I know!

November 30, 2014- Pao, Tony, JL, Cris, Meanne and I celebrated our birthmonth altogether. :D We ate thrice on that day! We really spent our quality time together...<3 It was also the birthday of the best dancer at the Feast, Carl Flor, and I gave him a letter. :)

Pagkakaibigang Pinaglaban! =)

December 2014

December 06, 2014- Single's Christmas Party. Team Bravo (Bibo and Brave) bragged the best presentation as we performed, All I want for Christmas is You. Ahem! :)

We're the Dreamgirls... :)

December 07, 2014- Carl and I had a friendly date and bonding at Greenbelt. It was great that we're getting to know each other in a better, funnier, more realistic, and deeper perspective. :) Then he unexpectedly joined Pao and I in BCBP's Christmas Disco Party at AIM. Katuwaaaa! :D

Carl, are you our long lost brother? :)

Mejo kamukha ka na namin. haha

....And the winner is... MARJ! ^_^

Bongga ka 'day! :)

December 13, 2014- We annually visit Carmel of Our Lady of Mary Mediatrix of all Grace at Lipa City. We also went to Lomi King and ate their the luscious Lomi in town. :)

Mama Mary's face is the most beautiful face I've ever seen--altogether lovely and graceful!:)

December 17, 2014- I led and hosted our Project's Christmas Party in IDX. :) Natuwa naman sila. hahaha

December 21, 2014- Music Min's Christmas party at San Andres Ele School which centers at the theme, Palarong Pinoy Kiddie Style.

As every one unchained their inner child :D

December 28, 2014- We went to Padre Pio and asked him to intercede for us in granting our prayer for 2015. :)

December 30, 2014- Christmas Party with Dreamteam. :))

2014 is a colorful year for me.

I know the hope and love that I have brings out my faith in another level. My faith kept me alive and active. Unstoppable, maybe.

For the Catholic church, 2014 is the year of the laity which centers with the theme: Choose to be Brave!

I praise God, for I think I obeyed it, not perfectly, but in the best and most colorful that I can! 

"Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. 
Praise the LORD!"(Psalm 150:6)

--30--

Be the Scriptwriter of Your Life

Let others lead small lives, but not you.
Let others argue over small things, but not you.
Let others cry over small hurts, but not you.
Let others leave their future in someone else’s hands, but not you.
— Jim Rohn

To help people write their dreams, I created the Life Dreams Success Journal. In it, I wrote that when it comes to self-direction, there are three kinds of people in this world.

First is the Moviegoer.

This person watches the movie of her life, admires some parts and criticizes other parts. Aside from that, she does nothing else. All shesays the whole day is, “I like this thing but I don’t like that thing.” The Moviegoer feels she has absolutely no control of her life—except to
comment about it. Moviegoers are the most pathetic, miserable people in the world.

Second is the Actor.

This person doesn’t only watch the movie of her life. She actually realizes she’s the Actor—and can control a big part of her life. She can actually make or break the movie—by how well she delivers her lines and by how she portrays her character. Actors are a happy bunch. They realize they’re the star of the show and enjoy some level of control. But many times, they wish the movie would end in another way—but realize that they have no say in such things.

Third is the Actor-Scriptwriter.

Let me ask you this question: Who are you among these three people?
Do you merely watch your life go by?
Or do you act a script that you feel has been handed to you?
Or do you write the script and make your life beautiful?
Friends, make a decision now to become the Scriptwriter of your life.
God wants you to be the Scriptwriter.
Create the life you were meant to live.
By the way, you might be asking: Where is God in the movie?
He’s the Producer. He says, “Make the movie beautiful. Here’s the budget…”
He then gives you a thick, fat checkbook with blank checks—but all pre-signed.
“Just put whatever figure you need.” Yes, my friend, He has given you all
that you need for success. Start using God’s checkbook now!
Write your dreams.


Be the Scriptwriter of your life.

Truly Rich Principle:You have the power to create the life you want.

Source: Bo Sanchez's 8 Secrets of the Truly Rich; pg. 87-88

Serendipity

Serendipity means finding out unexpectedly the things that you don’t sought for. Ok, I had these serendipitous events for the past 2 weekends. First, was last Saturday when I attended the Inner Healing stream from KCON 2011. It’s was so unbelievable but I accepted it’s reality at that moment, when finally I heard a wonderful speaker by the name of Ilsa Reyes talking about Inner treasures, child and forgiveness. I mean the whole talk was superb but it was really a perfect moment for me to feel the tremendous love of God through these anointed people. Before, I prayed to heaven to send me people who could talk about it, and then unpredictably He did. Woah, such an avalanche of blessings from God!

Next one, yesterday I attended an Advent recollection for PICC Feast servants. Guess who’s the speaker? He’s the author of a book Free Love, True Love - Fr. Joel Jason. That book is an enlightening book about finding and working for a true love. He’s a very humorous and light hearted speaker. During his talk, I would always gasped, “ahhhh.” He reopened and reminded me again about the real essence of Christmas.

How can I thank the Lord for His generosity and kindness? I can by just Thanking, accepting and reminding myself that He loves me more than I do for him.

Last one, I saw this handsome man unexpectedly again from the Feast. He is the one whom I unexpectedly gave my warmth smile few months ago (good thing he sent back his because I was just familiarizing him at that time). But I almost forget about him, then I recalled him again yesterday. I’m just glad to see him again. :)

Now, I can confirm that this is the life from glory to glory to glory until eternity! J

Documentation of Inner Healing stream (KCON '11)

Inner Healing stream

Talk 1- Healing the wounded heart by Bro. Vic and Ditas Espanol

Bro. Vic and Sis. Ditas said that we all have emotional wounds, pains or limps. We focus on those  “seed events” of our emotional wounds and pains from the past. But the truth there is that God wants to heal our emotional wounds. There’s a bible verse about it which says, “But we all..are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory.” (2 Corinthians 3:18). We also have this emotional echo or sounds that control our lives. It keep us immobilize that causes us fearful. It tells, “What I’m feeling now is what I feel when I was young.” The challenge for us is to silence our emotional echo.  There are 3 emotional echoes such as fear, rejection and hopelessness. People have these tendencies to believe the echoes in our mind, but God doesn’t want us to continue listening to it. If we want to silence our echo, we need to change our beliefs of our painful pasts.

The greatest emotional echo is fear thus we must face our fears and trust God for us to deal with fear. The lie about fear is that we’re all alone. The truth about Fear is we are not alone! No matter what circumstances we have. God is faithful.  We can deal with our fear through: Facing it and trusting God.

Next emotional echo is rejection which means results of an imperfect love.  (Read Luke 8:28-30). What’s important is “Who we are in Jesus Christ.” Jesus is giving us new identity. Acknowledging the rejection, being thankful for the rejection, forgive those who rejected you and surround yourself with people who support you are simple ways to get healed.

 The last emotional echo is helplessness and the lie about it is, “I will never make it.” The truth is God is behind you, speaking your name. Our hope is in our faith for our Risen Christ.

Sis. Ditas also shared on how she went through a bad pregnancy. They turned to God for comfort. She also added that we can deal with helplessness through labeling your feelings, engaging in fun activities and challenge what you’re thinking.

Other verses to ponder upon: Jeremiah 33:6; John 10:10; 1Kings 19: 1-13; John 20: 11-13; John 20: 14-17

Talk 2- Healing the wounded identity by Bro. Earnest Tan

Bro. Earnest said that a wounding in our identity can influence the way we experience the world and distort the way we look at ourselves. Example: when we look at an ugly mirror. He also warned us to be careful with our wounded identity.

There are 3 areas of identity. First is our Self-Image, this is how we perceive our worth when it comes to our appearance- physical and social. It’s either we have a healthy or poor self-image. It’s also how we feel about our looks. He said that our original state is that “We are Special!” These are ways on how to heal and restore our original image, first is to affirm our birthright as God’s children, then reconcile with our limitations and lastly, accept and embrace our givens. We must believe that we are beautiful and we must be ourselves. He also shared his experience on how it was for him to build his self-image because he’s half-Filipino and Chinese. But he wants to act as a pure Filipino, but his tendency is to act Chinese. It somehow trimmed down the way he sees himself.

The next area is our Self-Confidence; this is how we perceive our worth when it comes to our abilities. Our original state must be, “We are Promise!” But by the grace of God, we can heal and restore our wounded confidence, first is to believe and discover our God-given potentials, next is to master our fears by doing baby steps and lastly by stretching beyond our comfort zones. (Read: John 15:16)

Sometimes, we learn to doubt our capabilities because our authorities put us down for our mistakes, failures and imperfections. He also shared that he grew up being compared with his brothers. Even in school, he was being bullied and looked down by his teachers, but by the Grace of God, he blooms.

 Last area of our identity is our Self-Esteem, it is how we perceive our worth when it comes to our ability to love and be loved. Our original state must be, “We are Loved!” We must enjoy the love from people and we must make sure that we work on our love-ability.  (Read: Is. 43: 1,4) We are damaged because we are being abandoned, rejected, and loved with conditions.

He also shared a story about a Chinese mother who has a daughter, who always asks her if she loves her. The reason why the daughter is not secured with her mother’s love is because when she was young, her mom attempted to abort her thrice.

He concluded that Love is freely given. This must be the most important thing to work out for us to heal and restore our wounded identity. These are the ways to get healed, first is to trust in your Love-ability, next is to welcome opportunities to give and receive love and finally, we must experience unconditional and believe that, “I am Lovable!” We must shine as we are meant to be! We are a seed of love.

 “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles

The truth is:”If you don’t love yourself, you won’t love anyone else, including God.”- Fr. John Powell

Talk 3: Healing the Wounded Family by Fr. Larry Tan

Fr. Larry Tan started the talk by asking everyone to join in the singing of the song Welcome to the Family, after which he stressed out that family is the most important relationship we’ll ever have. According to him, we may be successful in our career, but failure in our family puts everything to waste. Sadly, such is the case involving many people today—experiencing dysfunctional families, divorce, separation, and such issues as sibling rivalry. It’s the work of Diablo which means divider to separate us from our family.

Fr. Tan said that families today are under attack, and many of the problems that people face now are family related. But, the good news is that whether we want our family to be heaven or hell, it is UP TO US.

He compared the family to the World Trade Center, which took years to build but only took minutes to bring down to Ground Zero. Similarly, a family takes years to build, yet it only takes one mistake to destroy it. This said, we all have to work hard for our family. We should not just let things happen, but we must make them happen. No more time for lip service, but to do an action. There is a lot of imperfection in our family, but love is a risk relationship.

We want a strong family. Every man, woman, and child wants a harmonious and happy family but our reality says a different way. There are many factors that influences and controls our lives such as peer, media, school, society, church, boss and nuns. We are complex people and we are a product of other people and family.

Fr. Tan enumerated the different blocks to a loving family: criticism, hostility, disrespect, control, suspicion, fighting, indifference, and selfishness. The good news is that there are also different helps to achieve a loving family, which he enumerated: praise, acceptance, forgiveness, giving, joy, listening, trust, and respect. He also mentioned one big secret for a loving family, which is loving and reaching out 100%.

He reminded everyone of the truth that the person we love most will likely be the one to hurt us the most. But, instead of choosing between the option to fight and to avoid, he said that the best option is forgiveness or forbearance. The root of hurt is a lack of love, and the secret to healing is to HEAL (Have Enormous Amount of Love). Whatever the hurt, fill it up with love. Fr. Tan said that we have the power, and it all depends on us. We can love one another and let love’s work… begin. (Read: Eph. 6:1-3)

Talk 4: Forgiveness by Ilsa Reyes

According to Ilsa Reyes, forgiveness is the key to healing. She said that what defiles is not what’s outside, but what’s inside. Then, she asked these questions to her audience: is your anger destroying your life? Is it robbing you of your peace and your joy? Are you letting it keep you from experiencing the life God intended you to have?

Ilsa said that nursing anger can have various effects. One, it can make the body sick.

(Read: Sirach 27: 30, 28:1) Unforgiveness can cause emotional distress, and medical studies show that it causes the production of inflammatory hormones that can harm organs. And what’s interesting–—the mere act of forgiveness relieves this. And two, nursing anger can destroy the soul. When we are angry, we can either let go of the anger or feed it and hold onto it forever. But, we have many reasons to forgive.

First, because God, in His great love and wisdom, asks us to. All of us have sinned, so we have no right to say that “I cannot forgive others because I am perfect.” (Read: Mat. 6: 14-15) When we build community, we must accept the weaknesses and differences, and recognize the woundedness, in others. God became God of our last resort, but later realize that we can ran to Him immediately. (Read: Sirach 28: 2-4,6) Second, because it is good everyone of us, for you and me—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. (Read: Heb. 13: 5-6) Forgiveness helps us embrace the truth that our source of self-worth is God. If we don’t forgive and let go of our anger, we’re saying that we’re powerless, and we therefore block the grace of God. Third, because it brings harmony to our relationships with other people. If we fail to forgive, the anger that we nurture will destroy our other relationships. Fourth, it is an opportunity to release the offender from bondage and bring him closer to God. When we forgive someone, the person who receives it can share it to others, and so we can bring so many closer to God. And fifth, so society can be more peaceful. When we forgive, we end the cycle of hatred.

Ilsa also mentioned some salient points about forgiveness. One, it is an act of the will—feelings may follow later. Two, it is divine. We need prayer, and we need God’s grace, in order to be able to forgive. Three, it is a process, so it takes time. We must let God be in the center of that process. Four, we need others’ help. We need competent and caring people, people that we trust. Five, if we can’t do it face to face, then maybe vicarious or even long distance. And six, we need to forgive God and ourselves too.

So how do we forgive? Ilsa shared this prayer: “By the love of the Father, in the name of Jesus, with the power of the Holy spirit, I forgive you (name of the person) for (reason).” She recommended praying the said prayer three times a day. It can also be used when asking for forgiveness.

According to Ilsa, a healing journal may help in the process of healing and forgiveness. And, we will know when we have already forgiven if we are able to think of the person without bitterness, resentment, and anger. We may not forget the experience, but we forget the pain.

Ilsa enumerated five dominant emotions in the forgiveness process. One is denial, a stage when we don’t admit that we are hurt. Two is anger, when we blame the other person for hurting and destroying us. Three is bargaining, when we set up conditions to be fulfilled before we’re ready to forgive. Four is depression, when we blame ourselves for letting hurt destroy us. And fifth is acceptance, when we already look forward to growth from our hurt.

She said that forgiving oneself is also crucial for healing. When we forgive ourselves, we must accept that we are vulnerable and allow ourselves to be humans. Forgiveness sets us free.

To end her talk, Ilsa led the reading of a passage telling of Jesus inviting us not to hold on to our anger.